Do I Believe in Cry It Out?
My Philosophy
If the question is whether or not I advocate leaving a baby alone to cry until they fall asleep from sheer exhaustion, then the answer is absolutely not! I never suggest that a parent should leave a baby to cry it out, not check on them, and let them fall asleep because they got so tired crying. That is just not my style. I believe a child should be loved before bedtime, comforted when upset, and responded to in a reasonable amount of time. I also believe that bedtime should be a very happy and pleasant experience, not something dreaded for both you and your baby. With that being said, let’s talk about crying realistically. Because to believe that there will be absolutely no tears during this process is completely unreasonable.
Understanding Tears During Change
You have to be realistic and understand that some tears will be shed. If someone took away your favorite pillow or blanket that you use to fall asleep, you would be angry, right? You’re probably not going to cry about it, but you would most likely be very angry. Well, that’s how your baby feels when you take away their sleep prop, except they can’t tell you they're angry. Instead, they cry. Eventually, they will get over it and find a new way to fall asleep . . . if you give them the opportunity. If you always run in at the slightest whimper, how will your baby ever learn to fall asleep on their own? Why would they even want to when they know that all they have to do is cry, and mommy will come in and do it for them?
Remembering
Why Sleep Matters
I know how it feels to hear your baby cry. I’m a huge sucker for tears. No matter what the cry is about, it’s heartbreaking. However, you have to keep in mind that you are doing what’s best for your baby. You want a well rested and happy baby—a baby that is able to practice milestones and have fun during the day without being cranky or overtired. You want them to sleep through the night and not wake all throughout the night because they are so dependent on you to put them to sleep. According to the National Sleep Foundation, “Sleep is especially important for children as it directly impacts physical and mental development.” During the deep stages of sleep, ”blood supply to the muscles is increased, energy is restored, tissue growth and repair occur, and important hormones are released for growth and development.” So when you start feeling bad about your baby shedding some tears, think about all the good you are doing for them. You are doing this for their well-being—you are not doing anything wrong. Crying is nothing more than protesting, and it’s usually very short-lived. Once your baby realizes that you will no longer be putting them to sleep, the protesting and tears will stop, and your baby will be falling asleep on their own. This plan will also help minimize the tears as much as possible.
Breaking Old Sleep Habits
Also, remember that you are changing your baby’s routine and trying to break a formed habit. Habits are not easy to break. So to show dissatisfaction, the only way your baby knows how to communicate is by crying. Don’t mistake that crying for fear, sadness, or abandonment. After all, you are responding to your baby when they cry—how can you be abandoning or frightening them?
